The pitfalls of internet dating

Lesson number two: don’t believe everything you read.

I managed to make my own way back to England but it took this horrible situation with someone I barely knew to make me finally see sense.

My first date was with an immaculately dressed 60-year-old with salt and pepper coiffed hair who bleated on about his top job in IT and spent most of the lunch gawping at a group of 20-something female students.

The next day I got an email saying we were not a match. There are five women to every man on these sites so even the most unremarkable men start to believe they are David Beckham.

Meeting him face to face was a different matter, however.

His photo was years out of date and he had lied about his height. He was a midget with a comb-over and the conversational skills of a libidinous teenager.

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